We had some friends over for dinner tonight. The wife is one of my good friends whom I truly admire and try to be like. And I wanted to get to know her husband better. Not surprisingly, I really like him too.
We enjoyed a yummy dinner and lots of great conversation. The kids ate quietly for about 3 minutes and then all vanished to play downstairs. They had a bit of a rough start because Little M can get a tad wound up when guests come over. But after a few Time Outs, he remembered to play nice. And then they all had a great time playing together. They have a boy about the same age as Little M and the two of them are like two peas in a pod and they just love playing together. It was so sweet to hear them all giggling (until I realized that the giggles were coming because of a combined effort to tip the couch over!).
Anyway, the whole evening was a Joyful Moment spending time with friends and getting to know them a bit better. We played "Blokus" and for some reason HH kept saying it was "hard core". Well, if you've ever played the game then you would probably be wondering what exactly made it hard core. I still am. I just love my HH.
And I got to eat one of my favorite chocolate chip cookies! Joyful Moment!
Wishing you all hard core Joyful Moments!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Day 280: "This Is Fun"
Whispered Sweet P in the middle of violin practice.
Say what?!
Yep. Today was a first for us in basically a year of learning the violin--we BOTH had fun! And though I was already having a Joyful Moment, that whisper made the Moment all the more Joyful.
And we almost didn't even have a practice! I told her it was time, she said she didn't want to, I felt the anger and grumpies rising up, so I decided to let things go and said, "Fine. I'm not going to make you practice." And then she went downstairs and talked to herself for a while. And I stayed not angry. Yay me! She came back up and told me she had a surprise for me. The surprise was that she had set up all of her violin stuff and was ready to practice! Joyful Moment!
And then she started things off by playing the best A-scale she's EVER played. For some reason, she hates playing the A-scale so she always gives it a pretty sorry effort. But today she did it fantastically well, so of course, I enthusiastically congratulated her on that and that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the practice. She tried really hard, sounded fantastic, and...
HAD FUN!!!
Wishing you all Joyful Moments that are just plain FUN!!!
Say what?!
Yep. Today was a first for us in basically a year of learning the violin--we BOTH had fun! And though I was already having a Joyful Moment, that whisper made the Moment all the more Joyful.
And we almost didn't even have a practice! I told her it was time, she said she didn't want to, I felt the anger and grumpies rising up, so I decided to let things go and said, "Fine. I'm not going to make you practice." And then she went downstairs and talked to herself for a while. And I stayed not angry. Yay me! She came back up and told me she had a surprise for me. The surprise was that she had set up all of her violin stuff and was ready to practice! Joyful Moment!
And then she started things off by playing the best A-scale she's EVER played. For some reason, she hates playing the A-scale so she always gives it a pretty sorry effort. But today she did it fantastically well, so of course, I enthusiastically congratulated her on that and that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the practice. She tried really hard, sounded fantastic, and...
HAD FUN!!!
Wishing you all Joyful Moments that are just plain FUN!!!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Day 279: Meternity
That's not a misspelling. That's another one of my new words. Maternal + Eternity. I'm not really sure why, I just didn't really know what to title taday's post.
Today was another good day. I'm learning to keep my emotions in check and then to just roll with it and move on when things get yucky. I'm pleased with the control I had today.
But my Joyful Moment wasn't related to that.
I can't really describe what this does to me internally. But I do know without a doubt that on a future day, this photo will make me cry. It has captured so much of the preciousness that is my Baby B. His mile-long eye lashes (better seen when this photo is enlarged), his fuzzy head, the furrowed brow as he's concentrating on the little mouse that fell out of his pocket, and those sweet sweet cheeks. Oh oh oh. I adore him.
Getting this and about a dozen others of my sweetie, plus a bunch of awesome family pics was totally today's Joyful Moment.
Wishing you all Joyful Moments that capture the essence of one of the best things in your life.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Day 278: Fearing Optimism
So, today ROCKED. I just felt so light and easygoing. And happy. And it was kind of like one big Joyful Moment. And it was freeing and beautiful. And so many other happy adjectives.
But there was a nagging fear in the back of my mind from time to time: What if...? What if this doesn't turn out the way I'm hoping it might? What will that do to me then? What if I'm wrong? Etc., etc., etc.
Then HH and I were discussing it a bit at dinner. I haven't really had a chance to talk things through with him because we weren't really home at the same time at all yesterday. So, I was sharing a little of my optimism with him when he interjected with those same fears I voiced above. And I know he was doing it to protect me. This isn't the first time that I've thought I could "fix" me. And then when it fails and I get depressed again, it hurts doubly because I'm devastated that I didn't fix anything at all. And when you get down to it, that's what we're both afraid of with all of those "What ifs".
But it still hurt when HH started saying all of that. It was like poking a pin in the happy balloon I'd been riding in all day, not popping it, but just giving it a small leak so it couldn't fly as high. And that really took the fun out of it.
But then I stopped myself because, hello, I'm rising above this. I can handle challenges.
I knew HH wasn't trying to be hurtful in the least, so I stopped him, too. I processed for a minute and then I began speaking pretty much as my thoughts were processing and I didn't realize the profundity of it until the words were out of my mouth. But the gist of it was this:
1. I'm not expecting to overcome everything in an instant, or a day. It took years to get here, it will probably take years to get out.
2. I'm not expecting to never have bad days, rough patches, or even bouts of depression. I am expecting to change who I am underneath it all. I'm not going to be a depressed person just having a good day. I'm going to be the happy, easygoing person that I used to be. Life is to be enjoyable, not a chore.
3. (This was the real Aha Moment) So, what if it doesn't work out the way I'm hoping it will? So what if this ends up being one big flop? What will happen? I'll probably be depressed. Why is that something to be so afraid of? We can handle that. It's not fun or ideal, but still--so what? Being afraid of that is a ridiculous reason to avoid being optimistic right now. Especially when that optimism has made all the difference in my outlook today and for life in general.
So, we have two choices: 1. Optimism and happiness, with a potential for depression Or, 2. Pessimism and crankiness, with certain depression.
It seems simple when I put it like that, but I think we face a similar choice frequently without realizing it. We give up the better choice because we're afraid of things not being as good as we want them to be. Who cares?! Choose the good and enjoy it for as long as it lasts. This is life, so the bad probably isn't going to disappear regardless. Why not let happiness and in as much as possible?
Today was awesome because I found HOPE and that was incredibly empowering. I refuse to let the fear of anything (leastwise the depression that I know so well) keep me from that.
Whew!
The End.
For tonight.
Wishing you all Joyful Moments and the power to choose optimism.
But there was a nagging fear in the back of my mind from time to time: What if...? What if this doesn't turn out the way I'm hoping it might? What will that do to me then? What if I'm wrong? Etc., etc., etc.
Then HH and I were discussing it a bit at dinner. I haven't really had a chance to talk things through with him because we weren't really home at the same time at all yesterday. So, I was sharing a little of my optimism with him when he interjected with those same fears I voiced above. And I know he was doing it to protect me. This isn't the first time that I've thought I could "fix" me. And then when it fails and I get depressed again, it hurts doubly because I'm devastated that I didn't fix anything at all. And when you get down to it, that's what we're both afraid of with all of those "What ifs".
But it still hurt when HH started saying all of that. It was like poking a pin in the happy balloon I'd been riding in all day, not popping it, but just giving it a small leak so it couldn't fly as high. And that really took the fun out of it.
But then I stopped myself because, hello, I'm rising above this. I can handle challenges.
I knew HH wasn't trying to be hurtful in the least, so I stopped him, too. I processed for a minute and then I began speaking pretty much as my thoughts were processing and I didn't realize the profundity of it until the words were out of my mouth. But the gist of it was this:
1. I'm not expecting to overcome everything in an instant, or a day. It took years to get here, it will probably take years to get out.
2. I'm not expecting to never have bad days, rough patches, or even bouts of depression. I am expecting to change who I am underneath it all. I'm not going to be a depressed person just having a good day. I'm going to be the happy, easygoing person that I used to be. Life is to be enjoyable, not a chore.
3. (This was the real Aha Moment) So, what if it doesn't work out the way I'm hoping it will? So what if this ends up being one big flop? What will happen? I'll probably be depressed. Why is that something to be so afraid of? We can handle that. It's not fun or ideal, but still--so what? Being afraid of that is a ridiculous reason to avoid being optimistic right now. Especially when that optimism has made all the difference in my outlook today and for life in general.
So, we have two choices: 1. Optimism and happiness, with a potential for depression Or, 2. Pessimism and crankiness, with certain depression.
It seems simple when I put it like that, but I think we face a similar choice frequently without realizing it. We give up the better choice because we're afraid of things not being as good as we want them to be. Who cares?! Choose the good and enjoy it for as long as it lasts. This is life, so the bad probably isn't going to disappear regardless. Why not let happiness and in as much as possible?
Today was awesome because I found HOPE and that was incredibly empowering. I refuse to let the fear of anything (leastwise the depression that I know so well) keep me from that.
Whew!
The End.
For tonight.
Wishing you all Joyful Moments and the power to choose optimism.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Day 277: From Simple to Profound
At lunch today I had a pear in the perfect stage of ripeness. It was just soft enough to be sweet and juicy, but not at all mushy. And it was a delicious Joyful Moment. And I thought that would be it for today. I mean, not my only Joyful Moment, but the one I would choose to share here.
But a discovery was made yesterday with my counselor that has caused me to do some serious contemplating and soul searching. Actually, stuff has been going on for a while that's been causing me to do this. Remember a month or so ago when I said I was having a bit of an identity crisis? Well, bit by bit things have been coming together. It's been amazing really. I seem to keep talking to just the right person at just the right time, or reading just the right article or just the right book at just the right time, or in today's instance, just the right chapters of scripture at just the right time. And I know I've been guided to each of these things as I have been ready to hear them and understand.
So, it's like I've been working on this puzzle for a while now, receiving piece after piece, but unsure of how they all fit together. And today, everything clicked and now I can see the big picture. A lot of it deals with some things that feel too personal for me to share, so I won't explain it all here. Basically though, I'm going to be making some major changes in most areas of my life. For example, HH was SUPER excited when he came home and saw the cookbooks I checked out of the library--The Mediterranean Vegan, for one. And if you know my HH, you know that he wasn't really excited in the least. But at least he is supportive.
Anyway, so all of these changes are a bit much because it is sort of drastic (changing our diet is only one little puzzle piece) and it will take a loooooong time to really incorporate everything, BUT... today I felt hope for the first time in years that maybe I don't have to battle depression my whole life. The hope that maybe getting back to the happy, easy-going demeanor I possessed up until my early twenties is not an impossible dream. Maybe I can be me again. And that is a Joyful Moment that I can't really even describe. Amazing is the best I can do for now.
It will be interesting to see how it plays out. But for now, I already feel lighter. I even initiated a spontaneous dance with HH when I walked in from Sweet P's violin lesson to discover him and Little M rocking out to "Life Goes On". Now that is progress, my friends.
Wishing you all Joyful Moments of the life changing variety!
But a discovery was made yesterday with my counselor that has caused me to do some serious contemplating and soul searching. Actually, stuff has been going on for a while that's been causing me to do this. Remember a month or so ago when I said I was having a bit of an identity crisis? Well, bit by bit things have been coming together. It's been amazing really. I seem to keep talking to just the right person at just the right time, or reading just the right article or just the right book at just the right time, or in today's instance, just the right chapters of scripture at just the right time. And I know I've been guided to each of these things as I have been ready to hear them and understand.
So, it's like I've been working on this puzzle for a while now, receiving piece after piece, but unsure of how they all fit together. And today, everything clicked and now I can see the big picture. A lot of it deals with some things that feel too personal for me to share, so I won't explain it all here. Basically though, I'm going to be making some major changes in most areas of my life. For example, HH was SUPER excited when he came home and saw the cookbooks I checked out of the library--The Mediterranean Vegan, for one. And if you know my HH, you know that he wasn't really excited in the least. But at least he is supportive.
Anyway, so all of these changes are a bit much because it is sort of drastic (changing our diet is only one little puzzle piece) and it will take a loooooong time to really incorporate everything, BUT... today I felt hope for the first time in years that maybe I don't have to battle depression my whole life. The hope that maybe getting back to the happy, easy-going demeanor I possessed up until my early twenties is not an impossible dream. Maybe I can be me again. And that is a Joyful Moment that I can't really even describe. Amazing is the best I can do for now.
It will be interesting to see how it plays out. But for now, I already feel lighter. I even initiated a spontaneous dance with HH when I walked in from Sweet P's violin lesson to discover him and Little M rocking out to "Life Goes On". Now that is progress, my friends.
Wishing you all Joyful Moments of the life changing variety!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Day 276: Siiiiick
Today I was pretty ill. So, my Joyful Moment arrived in the form of HH stepping in and taking over everything once he got home. He even told me a bedtime story because I was so sick and in pain it was hard to fall asleep.
Wishing you all Joyful Moments and good health!
Wishing you all Joyful Moments and good health!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Day 275: My Inner Child
We didn't get a single Trick-or-Treater last night. It might have something to do with the fact that we didn't turn the porch light on. But then again, we don't have many kids on our street. Kind of weird to not get a single one, though.
Anyway, today's Joyful Moment was being a kid with Little M. He decided to wear an eye patch that he got at our gym's Halloween party last week when we went to the gym this morning (I "pranced" for 12 minutes in my new shoes!!!). And after the gym we decided to check out the Halloween clearance at Target. Well, he was still wearing the patch, so we decided to be pirates. We talked like pirates all the way there and halfway through the shopping trip, but then we reached the Halloween aisle and we both forgot that we were pirates. But still, it was fun while it lasted.
Then after lunch I turned on the Sugar Free All Stars for him, so he wouldn't be lonely while I showered. After I was out and dressed, I heard him singing along, so I came in to join him. The last song involves a lot of instructions to move around in all sorts of ways (i.e. spin around, do jumping jacks, jump, run in place, etc.). We did that together and had a blast!
I'm not the best at playing with my kids. It's just not my strong point. So, I'm not sure what happened today, but I'm glad it did. It was the source of several Joyful Moments, the best of which was creating Joyful Moments for my Little M.
Wishing you all Joyful Moments playing with your inner child (and if you're lucky, a cute outer child as well)!
Anyway, today's Joyful Moment was being a kid with Little M. He decided to wear an eye patch that he got at our gym's Halloween party last week when we went to the gym this morning (I "pranced" for 12 minutes in my new shoes!!!). And after the gym we decided to check out the Halloween clearance at Target. Well, he was still wearing the patch, so we decided to be pirates. We talked like pirates all the way there and halfway through the shopping trip, but then we reached the Halloween aisle and we both forgot that we were pirates. But still, it was fun while it lasted.
Then after lunch I turned on the Sugar Free All Stars for him, so he wouldn't be lonely while I showered. After I was out and dressed, I heard him singing along, so I came in to join him. The last song involves a lot of instructions to move around in all sorts of ways (i.e. spin around, do jumping jacks, jump, run in place, etc.). We did that together and had a blast!
I'm not the best at playing with my kids. It's just not my strong point. So, I'm not sure what happened today, but I'm glad it did. It was the source of several Joyful Moments, the best of which was creating Joyful Moments for my Little M.
Wishing you all Joyful Moments playing with your inner child (and if you're lucky, a cute outer child as well)!
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