Well, thank you for indulging me in our month of gratitude. I just hope I can hold onto the change it made in my daily life to focus a little more on being grateful, expressing it, and keeping the balance with Random Acts of Kindness.
But it's time to move on. Where to go after discussing gratitude--a great joy provider? Naturally, stress was the first thing that came to my mind, it being a great joy remover after all. Actually, I just figured it was probably a prominent figure in a few other peoples' lives right now and not just mine.
All year long I look forward to this time of year. But since becoming an "adult", sometimes I let the stress and pressures overwhelm the excitement and general feeling of goodness. I want to find everyone on my list the perfect gift while staying within a *reasonable* budget, get my Christmas cards out before Presidents Day, make the most delectable dessert at the party, explain to HH why we need to get a hostess gift and then go out and find a suitable one, etc. And then there's the small day-to-day stresses like getting both kids dressed in their snow gear before the "potty trained" one needs to go again, not spinning out of control while driving on slick roads, keeping one eye constantly glued on the Christmas tree to ensure that it doesn't get pulled over, the ornaments stay put, and the presents below remain unopened, and--you get the picture. And I know you all deal with stresses of your own. So, it's easy to understand why we sometimes lose that "Holiday Cheer".
I understand it, but I don't like it. I feel cheated when that happens because I'm missing out on potential fun and JOY. Not fair. HH refers to me as a "stress case" year-round, so you can imagine what I'm like these days. But, I repeat, I DON'T LIKE IT. Well, I don't. So, I'm trying to get beyond it this year. I try the breathing and/or visualization exercises, but then a little stress peaks through and before I know it, I'm totally distracted away from the relaxing and focused on the stress.
So, what do you do? I think achieving and maintaining the proper perspective (i.e. she'll probably like the doll with the pink hat just as much as the one with the purple hat, so don't ponder it for 25 min. while BW screams for lunch) is very effective at eliminating some stress. Does anyone have good advice on how to actually do that? What about staying cheery even amidst the necessary stresses?
I used to be a pretty mellow and relaxed person but then it was like a switch flipped and now I get panicked over just about everything. I'd really like to go back to the relaxed me so I'd appreciate any advice you have on this one.
10 comments:
I feel like I have minimal stress in my life. I try not to plan too many things and to keep calm about things that stress me out such as little man not wanting his diaper changed or clothes on sometimes. I guess I have set my expectations at a low level and I try not to let things get to me. I am not really sure if I can really explain it, but I guess I don't like how I feel when I am stressed so I try not to get that way.
I'm like you. A lot! I don't have any great advice, but sometimes I do get that 'aha' moment where I realize (for however brief a time) that this (whatever it is) really doesn't matter that much. Then I am okay until it happens again! Patience is my problem and my biggest stress giver I think. If only I could be more patient, I wouldn't get so much stress.
I feel that way too, Cheryl. I try to cut out the non-essential, although blogging doesn't seem to fall in that category. :) We don't have a Christmas tree b/c we won't be here for Christmas, so that removes a stress but adds some sadness too, especially now with Luke. I have tried to not stress out about my house cleaning and that has definitely helped this week, but has been replaced with stress from Christmas. . . I hope others have some better ideas. :(
I taught the lesson in RS today, and I chose to talk about Elder Perry's talk from general conference about simplicity, and relate it to the Christmas season. A lot of the women had some good ideas, but I think a lot depends on your personality. Some people are just more laid back than others. But my advice would be to keep things simple. Don't overextend yourself. Prioritize, and devote your time to those things that are most worthwhile. Also, a big stressor at this time of year is money. Make a budget and stick to it, no matter what you think others' expectations might be. Plan ahead for next year if you want more money for gifts. Simplify, simplify, simplify.
I heard a thought years ago when we only had Christina and have stuck to it. We give our kids 4 gifts from us each year, one from each of the following categories--body (i.e. clothes), spirit (church stuff), mind (educational), and something just for fun. It helps me keep the giving a little more organized and with a purpose
I have found that reading the Book of Mormon makes a huge difference in how I handle the ups and downs of each day. This has been the most consistently helpful action I've found. Because it makes such a big difference I like to make time in the morning to read at least some of this great book.
Sometimes when my children were still living at home I didn't get to read very much, but even a few verses were enough to sustain me.
When I focus on what I am reading and leave other concerns aside, I find peace and direction. I learn more each time I read the Book of Mormon. For instance, this morning I read about when all men will be redeemed through Christ, "...then cometh the time that...he that is happy shall be happy still; and he that is unhappy shall be unhappy still" found in Mormon 9:14. Because I want to be happy in the eternities I want to be happy and find joy NOW. There are so many words of encouragement and instruction in the Book of Mormon.
Thanks one and all for the great advice. I am feeling less stress in my life than I was a few days ago, so at least there is hope for more progress.
And a new comment has been posted on "Gracious Gratitude".
I have been reading this book that I have really been enjoying. It's called Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Anyway, the main point is that we tend to live life as though everything is an emergency. When really nothing is an emergency. That really opened my eyes and helped me to remember that nothing is an emergency so why treat it like one.
One thing that helps me to feel less stressed, especially during the holidays, is to have a focus for each day. When the "to do" list is miles long it just gets overwhelming and discouraging. I try to pick just one or two things to focus on each day, rather than trying to attempt everything at once. Then I can feel successful when that's completed. (For bigger projects, I break them down into smaller steps.) And I tell myself I'm not worrying about the other things, I'll choose to do them some other time. I guess it's an attitude thing. And it forces me to prioritize too, so that what really needs to get done does.
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