Thursday, January 28, 2010

More of Me

Okay, so what is the big change?

Basically, even though I've been doing this blog to help others, I've been drawing on my own experiences, so it's been quite a bit about me.

Now, it's pretty much going to be all about me.

I know that's just what you were all hoping for!

Okay, just a little bit of a serious note here to explain why. The thing is, I'm pregnant. When I get pregnant, I get depressed. It's just sort of a simple cause and effect equation. I can't handle the hormones. I've been doing really well this time around, but over the past month or so, I could tell I was kind of slipping. Mostly, I was really angry a lot of the time.

I don't like being angry. Or depressed. And as a part of all of that, I just wasn't really feeling it when I tried to type posts for this blog. So, that's why I decided to put it on the back burner for a while.

But then my brain started rolling and I got some inspiration and I felt like that wasn't actually what I was supposed to do.

So, the new plan is for me to post every day. Only the posts will be much much shorter. I'm going to post a daily Joyful Moment. A big commitment for a Commit-O-Phobe such as myself.
As I've been preparing for this over the past week or so, I've been really surprised at how difficult that can be. Because I'm not talking about moments that make me feel happy or glad or grateful. I'm talking about feeling real joy.

The first day, it never actually happened. Another day, it was so fleeting I couldn't even put my finger on what exactly it was that caused it. I just knew it had something to do with Little M.

But Sweet P and Little M have been pretty sick all week, so hopefully this is just an off week. And I'm expecting that as I work on this, I'll be able to learn how to create more joy in my life. So, the purpose of the blog hasn't really changed, just my method. And my motivation is a little more selfish.

But I am still hoping to benefit others. I'd like to challenge anyone who wants to join me and sharing your daily Joyful Moment. I would love to know the things that bring you joy day-to-day. And it will probably help the rest of us think of ways to find joy in our own lives. You can share it here, or on your own blog--just leave a link for the rest of us to follow! Or you can just support me in my quest to maintain my sanity this time around.

I'm committing to doing this every day for a year. I still have a few more months of pregnancy and then the postpartum phase usually hits my emotional state even harder. So, I figure by the time this baby is 9 months old, I should be in the clear. And by forcing myself to experience joy every day, how bad can things ever get?

"Forcing myself to experience joy"--that sounds really sad. Is it even possible to force joy? Anyway, I really am okay. I'm just trying to prevent things from getting as bad as they did with the other two babies. I want to enjoy this one!

Fortunately, those other two babies are pretty helpful in creating Joyful Moments for me now.

Here was my moment yesterday:
Meet Sweet P and Little M

I don't encourage Little M to dress that way. He just likes to copy his big sister. Good thing we're having another boy. We obviously need a little more testosterone around here! They danced the funniest dance for me. It was so priceless.

Now keep your fingers crossed that we'll have a few less tears around here for the remainder of the day, so I can actually have a Moment to post for tonight.


Nikki said...

Cheryl, what a great idea. I'll try to post my joys on here along with you.

Today was a little chilly, slightly breesy and a little humid, and it felt like I was on the beach. It was a nice calming, joyful experience. I don't live by the beach, but it felt like it.

Jen said...

Cheryl, really a great idea. I blogged about mine. I won't post the link because it's private. . . but, you can read them.

Linda said...

This is a WONDERFUL idea - and hits home with me. I'm joining you in your commitment. I usually write these joyful experiences or moments in my journal too.

We did not have a gorgeous sunrise or sunset, instead we had a marshmallow world - gigantic snowflakes fell most of the day. We've gone a few weeks without snow and I was enjoying the warmer weather, but it IS winter and fresh snow is absolutely breath-taking if you don't have to drive in it. So I canceled the 2 excursions I'd planned and stayed home with my hot chocolate and enjoyed looking out the window as often as I wanted. :)

Linda said...

P.S. and towards the end of the day I received a phone call from 2 little monkeys, to tell me "Eu te amo" (I love you!)

Spencer and Kimberly said...

I had the same thought for myself. I decided to start a journal at the beginning of the year where I only list happy things from my day so that I can learn to recognize the good things better. I look forward to reading your joyful moments!