So, I'm still struggling. And we still can't determine why.
It's strange because I've spent so much time analyzing and combating the "cognitive distortions" that accompany depression, so as they come, I can clearly see them for what they are. And yet, I find myself unable to shake them, just the same.
How does that work?
I don't know. In some ways it makes it more bearable, in some ways less.
I can't quite put my finger on the why, but I do feel that this bout is winding down. I am hoping that a weekend with the family will be the recharge that I am in need of to kind of get me over the gap between where I am and enjoying life again.
Fortunately for me, we have stayed home all day today. Thus far, anyway.
This summer has been so busy with activities and errands and appointments and travel. And I'm pooped.
So, today was a rarity. And even more rare, Baby B was gone all morning at a play date.
Which provided me with just the perfect set of circumstances to sit down and spend some quality time with Darling A at her level.
Mostly, we read books. Just two. But, several times each. We talked about the pictures. And then she'd get bored and throw the book around for a while. I'm not sure why, but she is really into throwing things lately.
She ate (devoured) this entire tomato (from our garden!) the other day. And looked around for more when it was all gone.
I really needed that time with her today. She's just so fantastic. And sweet. And chubby. And perfectly lovely.
And she ate up our quality time just as much as I did.
Plus, I got to help out a really good friend of mine this morning. A friend who is constantly serving and taking care of and looking out for me. I'm pretty sure I will be forever indebted to her for all she has done. Which made me appreciate the opportunity to help her out all the more.