Monday, April 2, 2012

Day 809: We Wear Short Shorts

Actually, they really aren't all that short.

Modest is hottest.

So, today's post is kind of a convergence of three things.  And I'm not sure I currently have the mental clarity to really make it all flow together.  But, it was kind of an important day, so I want to remember it.  Cross fingers.

Sweet P has this problem:  She never outgrows a pair of pants.  She always gets tears and holes in the knees first.  I am not exaggerating.  I do not remember the last pair of pants that went into storage after she outgrew them.  They all go to the clothing drop (I figure, pants with holes in the knees are better than no pants, right?).

And now, it's summer.  Not because it should be.  It most certainly not be summer here in the North Pole, but 90+ degrees for the past three days equals summer as far as I'm concerned.  I blame this on the fact that I always vowed to never have a summer baby.

And Sweet P somehow only has a few pairs of shorts.  She managed to get holes in a couple pairs last summer (in the buns instead of the knees, since shorts don't really cover the knees), and outgrew some more.

And this is why I've been reluctant to buy her some new ones.  I know they're all going to wind up with holes!

Fast forward to today.

Sweet P started chatting a bit during homework, telling me about playing soccer at recess with a friend she was quite close to last year, but kind of drifted a bit from this year.  I made a casual comment about being glad that they're still friends because I can tell he's very kind to her and that matters to me.

And then, suddenly, she was opening up in a way she never really opens up.  And blinking back tears while telling me that she was glad he was her friend because if not for him, she might not have any friends.  All of her friends are "going over" to be friends with a couple of other girls.  "And they're bossy, so I don't know why everyone wants to be friends with them because they just boss them."

And my heart broke for her as I remembered how hard it can be to be a kid sometimes.  And I worry about my Sweet P.  There is a reason we call her Sweet P.  She is sweet.  So sweet.  And gentle and innocent.

And really, not bossy at all.


And then, for the first time, I think something good came of the fact that I have been forced to really slow down and cut back lately.  Instead of being busy cleaning, organizing, planning, or cooking, I was sitting while she told me all of this.  Had I been doing any of those other things, I think I probably would have just tried to give her the simple responses to soothe her hurting heart and then move on.  But, since I was sitting, I pulled her over into my lap to snuggle while we talked.  And I just told her I was sorry she had to go through all that.  And that friendships change and evolve as we grow.  And that, a lot of times, it is the bossy girls who seem to attract everyone else (for sake of time and all, I won't go into why I believe this is).  But I reminded her that she is a good friend and to keep being that good friend.

And then she told me about something that seemed pretty unrelated, but expressed something else that she sees that is good in herself.  And so, I'm thinking that meant that she's feeling okay about who she is and hopefully, better for having talked to me.

And all of that could be the only Joyful Moment I need to post about tonight.  Not because there was any joy in her heartbreak, but because these moments don't happen very often for Sweet P and I.  Partly because she just keeps stuff inside a lot, and partly because I'm usually too busy to recognize when she really needs a snuggly mommy and some undivided attention.  So, it was a Joyful Moment simply because it happened.  And I've been praying so hard to be a better mommy and to be closer with my sweet daughter.

But then, I went to her closet and pulled out all of the pairs of pants that had holes in the knees (I hold onto them for a little while because I'm always thinking I might actually fix the holes, or she might need a pair of junk pants for camping, or the like).  I found three workable pairs.  I took them down to my sewing room.  And I made them into shorts.  Nothing that you'll find on Project Runway, but they're wearable and suitably cute for my tomboy.  And long enough to look good on those long long legs of hers.

And then I actually did fix a pair of shorts she ripped last week.

And she was so happy when I showed them all to her.  And that was a Joyful Moment.  As was announcing to HH when he got home, "I did something today."

He missed the pride in my voice and for some reason, automatically thought that meant I was confessing to some mistake or problem.

Whew.  Well, I'm not sure how well it flowed.  But that is it.  The tale of today.

Wishing you all Joyful Moments that make seemingly small and insignificant moments really important and worth remembering!


Meg said...

I wish we could hang out together and do nothing all day together. Sounds like your days are like mine: looking at all the things I should be doing and wishing I could do them but instead trying to appreciate that I can still be with my boy and play with him (at least verbally as I lay on the couch). I If only we could do that together, our kids would be happier playing with cousins and you and I could be happier comiserating. Sounds perfect, right?!

My JM yesterday was that I was able to go to the Dr. and finally get some relief and some answers to my ever ongoing health issues. And also two dear friends offered help when I was to a point where I knew I couldn't ask something of them AGAIN. I have good friends. :)

Nikki said...

Awe, Cheryl, that's a sweet story. I am glad you had that precious opportunity with your daughter.

Cheryl said...

Meg--So true! I've been craving some sister time lately! Wanna come out? I have very comfy couches to lay on! Hope you're feeling better!

Nikki--Thanks! I actually was thinking back to when I didn't have a plethora of friends, but how you were always a friend to me! Thank you!

Linda said...

Thanks for sharing such a tender experience. She's a blessed little girl to have you for her mommy. I love you both!