Monday, April 23, 2012

Day 830: Panic Attacks

I had several of those today.

I'm way past the point of exhaustion where I typically can finally sleep well for at least one night simply because my body is too worn out to do anything else.

Sadly, that one night of relief is still eluding me.

A part of it is my ability to hold onto stress (and stress over anything and everything) that becomes especially heightened during pregnancy.  Yay hormones.  So, I lie awake at night freaking out about all sorts of things, both important and ridiculous in nature.

And by the time I got out of bed this morning, I was a frazzled wreck.  I wrote everything down in a to-do list, hoping that would help.  But every time I looked at that list, or my calendar for the week, I would have a panic attack.  Complete with shaking and difficulty breathing.  Yay, hormones.

Have I mentioned here how amazing my HH is?

He helped keep me grounded throughout the day.  And I was actually able to knock several of the items off of my list, which helped quite a bit.  And then tonight, he stayed home and put the kids to bed while I ran to a craft store to get supplies for three current projects I have going.  And that was a huge sigh of relief.

Then we talked about all of my stresses as we got ready for bed.  He did a great job listening and being supportive, without swooping in and trying to "fix" everything.  Mostly, we talked about what we're going to do with our kids when I go into labor.  We don't live close to family, so it's difficult to know who to ask.  But nights in the hospital can be a pretty bad time for me if I'm alone and I really don't want to start things off badly when Darling A finally arrives.  So, we're trying to figure out how we can make it work to have HH at the hospital with me without placing an undo burden on any of our friends.  Because taking on three extra children for a couple days is kind of a big deal.

Anyway, when we finally settled into bed, he lightly rubbed my back for a few minutes as I did my best to shut my mind off from worry-mode and over to sleep-mode.  His gentle touch on my back was definitely today's Joyful Moment.

I love my HH.

Wishing you all Joyful Moments and the ability to let go of silly stress!


Melanie said...

You don't know how badly I just want to surprise you and take care of the kids. So wish I could.

Amy said...

So glad you made it through this day!! I reiterate what Mel said above--I'd totally take your kids for a few days. Wish I could come.
My JM today was having a good day with Emalyn. No arguing yesterday!!!

Belkycita said...

I had the same problem this last pregnancy. I didn't sleep more than 5 hours for the last trimester and I was one grumpy kid.

The times I remembered, I would drink some Chamomile tea with ginger after a nice shower and then I would lay in bed. Those nights I slept a little longer.

As for the kids, remember that you would more than happy do it for your friends, if you knew how much help that would be.
Don't take away their opportunity to serve :-)

Much love!

Cheryl said...

Mel, Amy, Belky--I'm so lucky to have such wonderful sisters! Thank you all. I'm sure something will work out.

Linda said...

I hope I'm there to help when you need me. I love you and I'm praying for you.

Cheryl said...

Yeah, I told HH last night that it might be a good thing if I go into labor at 37 weeks when you guys are here the first time. (c: