At lunch today I had a pear in the perfect stage of ripeness. It was just soft enough to be sweet and juicy, but not at all mushy. And it was a delicious Joyful Moment. And I thought that would be it for today. I mean, not my only Joyful Moment, but the one I would choose to share here.
But a discovery was made yesterday with my counselor that has caused me to do some serious contemplating and soul searching. Actually, stuff has been going on for a while that's been causing me to do this. Remember a month or so ago when I said I was having a bit of an identity crisis? Well, bit by bit things have been coming together. It's been amazing really. I seem to keep talking to just the right person at just the right time, or reading just the right article or just the right book at just the right time, or in today's instance, just the right chapters of scripture at just the right time. And I know I've been guided to each of these things as I have been ready to hear them and understand.
So, it's like I've been working on this puzzle for a while now, receiving piece after piece, but unsure of how they all fit together. And today, everything clicked and now I can see the big picture. A lot of it deals with some things that feel too personal for me to share, so I won't explain it all here. Basically though, I'm going to be making some major changes in most areas of my life. For example, HH was SUPER excited when he came home and saw the cookbooks I checked out of the library--The Mediterranean Vegan, for one. And if you know my HH, you know that he wasn't really excited in the least. But at least he is supportive.
Anyway, so all of these changes are a bit much because it is sort of drastic (changing our diet is only one little puzzle piece) and it will take a loooooong time to really incorporate everything, BUT... today I felt hope for the first time in years that maybe I don't have to battle depression my whole life. The hope that maybe getting back to the happy, easy-going demeanor I possessed up until my early twenties is not an impossible dream. Maybe I can be me again. And that is a Joyful Moment that I can't really even describe. Amazing is the best I can do for now.
It will be interesting to see how it plays out. But for now, I already feel lighter. I even initiated a spontaneous dance with HH when I walked in from Sweet P's violin lesson to discover him and Little M rocking out to "Life Goes On". Now that is progress, my friends.
Wishing you all Joyful Moments of the life changing variety!
1 comment:
We had some friends over to celebrate his birthday - They have been our friends since the early 70's, and once upon in the 80's he was my HH's boss. Our kids slept in their kids' crib. My dad was their bishop and friend. It goes on and on. They have brought me much joy through the years and tonight I am feeling joyful that we live close enough to see them more often.
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