Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Day 153: Joyfulness is Next to...

I was really hoping to be able to type this with both hands tonight, but Baby B has other plans. I don't mind him being the boss most of the time, but right now I'm really in need of a break.

I'm afraid to say, I just sort of endured today. I didn't really enjoy it.

I tried. I took everyone out front in the afternoon so the kids could ride bikes and scooters. They live for that and I know Z always likes a change of scenery, so I thought it would make everyone happy. And I think everyone did have fun--to an extent.

The problem is, the kids both wanted me to watch their every move, Baby B wanted me to gaze at him and smile, and Z wanted to run and play. I tried to watch the kids, smile for a bit at Baby B, and play fetch with Z. But no one was very satisfied with that. Then the kids decided to get out the sidewalk chalk and Z settled for being okay with just having me pet her. So, I did that while focusing in on Baby B and I thought now everyone would be content. But then the kids wanted me to draw pictures for them. Baby B was not a fan of being held with one arm while I squatted down and tried to draw with the other. And Z didn't appreciate the neglect either.

I expected that to be a joyful experience for all of us. Instead, I just felt frustrated and disappointed. I can't give everyone what they want all at the same time. And I really wanted to.

So, today's Joyful Moment was finally getting the kitchen cleaned up several hours after dinner was finished. It's not even clean clean. It's just acceptable, as long as I don't look in the direction of the clutter counter. But that was my Moment, nevertheless, and I'm sticking to it.

Wishing you all Joyful Moments that are more joyful than mine.

P.S. On the bright side, Baby B filled his belly while I typed and is now peacefully sleeping in his bed and I had "no misspellings found" when I clicked the spell checker!


Melanie said...

You know...I think there is something to be said about that phrase..."Endure to the End". I think Heaven knows that there will be days that we are simply asked to endure. You're doing a great job. I never feel I have enough time for everything or just do what you can and realize there are limitaions.

Linda said...

We moms expect so very much of ourselves and often we try to do more than is actually possible. You're amazing. I hope you give yourself all the credit you deserve for your desires and actions. I hope you can hear my applause and feel my hug around you.

We enjoyed getting together with 2 of our daughters and their families along with my sister. Having the opportunity to see our family more is bringing more JOY than I can explain. We can't wait to see you in a few weeks.