Monday, February 4, 2013

Day 1112: That's Normal

I had another appointment this morning.  It's been about a month.  I was thinking I didn't need to go, but then there were the issues with stress over the weekend and I thought maybe I did need it.

The first bit was kind of weird though.  I would tell him experiences I'd had and how I'd responded (in a way I didn't think was ideal) and he would say, "That's normal."  "Do you know someone who wouldn't have felt that way?" and then there was the nonverbal shoulder shrug with hands in the air.

Okay, maybe I didn't need to go in.

Although, at the end, we did get to some "issues".  Why I'm stressed.  What I'm worried about.  And a lot of it boils down to limitations.

Which is kind of funny given a couple of my recent posts.

I'm sort of an all or nothing kind of girl.  I like to give 100% or 0%.  And I've spent a lot of time over the past several years giving 0% to a lot of the things I would otherwise want to do because I was spending so much of my energy worrying about myself, or feeling the need to conserve my energy just in case I had a meltdown and needed it.

But now, I have more energy to do more things.  And I kind of want to just jump right in (on a couple of occasions, I have), but I'm worried about taking on too much and getting overwhelmed and just winding back up where I started.

Because that sort of thing has happened before.

So, I'm supposed to make a list.  And prioritize.  And then start slowly.  And gradually push outward on the limits.

And it's supposed to be simple.

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