Day 1121: Still Raining

Or, more accurately, snowing.  But, by some miracle, the walks and driveway are clear.  That's about the only easy thing that happened today.

Don't worry, I'm not going to go into another long detailed post about all the things that were wrong about today.

We'll skip all that and just say I'm totally overwhelmed.  I just had no idea how hard this would be.  And we didn't anticipate Darling A being the sickest she's ever been at the same time.  And everything else that happened today just left me feeling really in over my head and still quite frustrated with my own, self-centered, response to everything.  I feel bad for HH being so dependent on me and having to deal with all of this and I can't even hold it together for him for a day.

I'm also overwhelmed in a good way.  I can't believe how many people have reached out with meals and helping with the kids and to bring us movie rentals, etc.  And for all of the phone calls.  I'm sorry I never picked any of them up.  I just couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone today.  I'm not sure tomorrow will be much better in that regard either.  Making dinner tonight was a complete disaster, so to those who commandeered our dinners for the next few nights, thank you.  It's hard to accept help, especially when I keep feeling like I shouldn't really need it, so it's appreciated to have it forced on me

I'll be honest, today brought me to the brink.  I've been trying ever since I got sick with the flu a month ago to get out of this funk and all of these added challenges just made that seem completely unattainable.  But in just the past two hours, I've received such an outpouring of love and support, I am left wordless.  You've been inspired by your words of support and encouragement and your offers of assistance.  And even the timing of it all.  So, thanks.  I wish there was a bigger word for that, but right now that's all I have.  Just a big heart full of gratitude for such wonderful friends and family.