Day 1061: Oh, okay

It's time for a confession:  I seem to have damaged my foot.  It's been hurting since mid-to-late October.  I've been taking it easy, only ran a few times since my relay and not at all since Thanksgiving, pretending like it's not there and not causing pain every moment of every day (and night), and fully expecting it to heal any day.  But, this week it actually got worse.  Without me doing anything (besides going about my daily tasks of housecleaning and meal preparing) to aggravate it.  Sooooo not fair.

So, this morning started off well enough.  Me being happy and grateful for this long-lasting good mood wave I've been riding.  I stopped in at the chiropractor so he could adjust my foot.  It has worked with my previous foot injuries, so I've been having him treat this for a few weeks now.  I talked to him about the sudden increase in pain and he agreed that the top of my foot is indeed swollen and then casually mentioned that it was quite possibly a neuroma.

And that another of his clients recently had surgery to have just such a neuroma removed.

What?!

I'm a runner.

I happen to be vitally dependent on my feet.

Surgery = Death to Running.

Which is a huge part of who I am and what I have planned for both my short term and long term future.

I called HH and told him about the potential diagnosis.  He looked it up online and  read me the rundown.  Surgery is not the only (or most successful) treatment.  However, none of them were very optimistic sounding.  Running sounds like it will be out.  Vibram Five Fingers sound like they're out.  Cute suede boots sound like they'll be out.  Sexy snake skin heels sound like they'll be out.

Orthotics and big black supportive boots sound like they'll be in.

Boo.  Boo.  Boo hoo.

I tried really hard to keep my thoughts from traveling down that road all day.

It didn't help that I was very tired (Darling A had us up quite a bit the night before) and Baby B fell of the Happy Train as well.  There were a few other minor issues in there, too, and I was just sort of done.

HH and I had a bit of conflict tonight (mainly caused by the aforementioned fatigue for both of us) and even though we resolved things, I still just feel yucky and sad.

I'm trying really hard to find the most optimistic outcome here (I mean, I haven't even been to my podiatrist yet, so there is no official diagnosis!), but with it being something so near to my heart, it is a struggle.

The good news is, I know that the majority of today's pain and grumpies is a direct result of being so exhausted.  So, I'm going to bed super early and I fully expect to wake up in a much better mood in the morning.