Today was interesting...
It started off with this reflection recorded in my journal:
"My life is definitely not perfect after all of this, but I am just loving it so much more. I can bear the imperfections without getting weighed down by them because I know that they are temporary. Every part of my life feels different because I am able to truly appreciate things now without the depression interfering, or blocking some (or all) of the joy and amazingness.
"I'm guessing at least some of this will fade with time as this happiness becomes my new normal. But for now I am loving the feeling of truly experiencing all of the many blessings in my life for the first time. I find myself thinking about this all of the time. I just can't get over it.
"Even if some of that fades as the newness fades, I know that I need to avoid complacency like the plague. This morning I woke up thinking about the two talks given in General Conference (The First Great Commandment, Being A More Christian Christian) describing the scene shortly after the Savior's Resurrection when the Apostles went back to fishing (St. John 21). Jesus appears to them and reminds them that they have a greater calling than to fish. The message I got from those talks is that it is not okay to just do "enough". It's time to step up. To feed the sheep, including myself.
"When I look back, I will realize I only had a short time on this earth. I need to use it to be constantly and consistently drawing closer to the Lord, so that will be the natural place for me to belong when this life ends. I don't have time for complacency. And even though complacency is what I slip into because it is easy--even if I have worked hard to reach the point where I then become complacent--I am becoming more and more convinced that complacency kills joy. We are meant to be striving for improvement always. That is what our spirits yearn for. It is in the daily seeking to draw nearer to the Lord by nourishing myself and then building up the Kingdom where true joy lies.
"NEVER FORGET THIS!!!"
That was for me. Because it is a lesson I have to keep relearning.
For example, after writing that and doing my scripture study, I got the kids ready and off to school then headed to the podiatrist. It took him about 30 seconds to diagnose, an x-ray to confirm, and then he gifted me with this:
Stress fracture. I was actually super happy to hear this. Fractures are totally healable.
But, I'll be honest, as the day wore on, I struggled a bit. It is inconvenient to say the least. And, for whatever reason, the pain of it is now bothering me a lot more than it was prior to the boot. So, I'm frustrated. But, grateful for the thoughts I had this morning and the opportunity I had to record them before I forgot them an hour later!
Tonight I witnessed three "shooting stars" as part of the meteor shower. And I was reminded that there is a Heavenly Father above and He loves us so much that he has created this amazing universe with so much beauty for us to enjoy.
Took the kids out to see and they each saw one. It was fun.
2 comments:
That's amazing. Thanks for sharing! Love you.
Oh, and Mom had the same thing- her foot didn't bother her much until she put the boot on. Almost immediately after she got it on she told me it hurt! Weird...
Meg--I'd forgotten that. Thanks--it's somehow reassuring!
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