Day 1060: Oh, Those Elephants

Had another good day again.  I've started to notice that I have a smile on my face most of the time, with no effort.  It's really nice and fun.

My mom sent a request to my siblings and I for experiences concerning hope to help her with a talk she's giving on Sunday.  As I did my scripture study this morning, I thought about that and then sent her the following in an email:

In Ether 2:25 the Lord tells the brother of Jared that He wants to prepare him for the trials they'll face in crossing the ocean  Then He asks, "What will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?"

Being "swallowed up in the depths of the sea" sounds a lot like depression, so I pondered what I would ask the Lord to provide me with so I may have light during those times.  And the reminder of the Atonement is the answer I came up with.  If I can remember (or be reminded) that I have that to rely on and cast my doubts, burdens, and fears on then I can have the light of hope--even when swallowed up in the depths of the sea.  

I'm learning that the light that hope provides is enough.  It doesn't remove all of the pain of the depression, but it is enough.  Enough to give me the strength, courage, and desire to keep trying and keep fighting because I have hope that through the Savior's Atonement, I can become better in every way.  And even if that doesn't all happen tomorrow, it's still okay because I have the hope that eventually, it will.  And the prospect of an eternity in which to develop, grow, and become perfect with the aid of my Father in Heaven is maybe one of the greatest sources of hope I can think of."

Just thought I should share that as it has been a very important part of the process I'm going through here.

In other news, my friends threw a White Elephant party (also known as Yankee Swap for you East Coasters) tonight.  We had a lot of fun.  I love my friends.  And I went home with two pretty glasses (and the promise of a very talented friend to etch a monogram into them) and a cute bracelet.  It wasn't a true White Elephant in which the gifts are basically funny junk.  Sadly, some of my friends aren't into that.  So, they were all gifts that people would actually want.

And the best news is that I left at 9:45 PM.  Not early enough to quite get to bed on time, but still several hours earlier than everyone else.  Besides the friend I gave a ride to, knowing she'd want to leave early as well.  So, I'm proud of myself for being disciplined for once.  It helped that I announced to everyone as soon as I showed up that I'd be leaving at 9:30.  Even though I'm sure they would have been happy to have me stay, it still gave me a little more to be accountable to.