Sunday, May 13, 2012

Day 849: Let's Pretend

That today was not Mother's Day.

Because it was really not my best Mother's Day ever.  Mainly, just because I've been feeling like such a lousy mom lately.

But, I guess we can't completely pretend because I wouldn't have had my Joyful Moment if not for Mother's Day.  The kids were given one of those questionnaires to see how well they know me.  On a side note, Little M thinks I weigh 5 pounds.  And, apparently, they already know how much my life revolves around food because several of their answers had to do with my cooking and baking.

But, at the end it said, "My mom really loves..."  And Sweet P's response was "us, and also she loves church."

One of, if not the, worst fear I've experienced as I've lost myself to the Depression so much throughout this pregnancy is how it has effected my children.  I feel that I must seem like a horrible angry monster to them the majority of the time, a lifeless blob part of the time, and just a weeping mess the rest of the time.

But somehow, despite of all of that, Sweet P at least still recognizes what is truly important to me.  I could not have wished for a better answer from her.  Truly, what I want most for them to know is how much I love them and how much I love the gospel of Jesus Christ."

So, in the midst of a day full of awfulness, there was this one glimmer of hope that maybe I haven't completely ruined things with my children.  Maybe they do still see my true intentions underneath all of the mess.

I hope so.

Wishing you all Joyful Moments that bring you hope!


Linda said...

I think every mom has a few mother's days that she'd like to forget, don't you?

Today was a good day for me - cards and phone calls and even some people making a delicious dinner for me!

Cheryl said...

I'm glad it was a good day for you! And I hope this was my worst and that it's never this bad again.