Day 1141: At Least The House Is Clean

Today was interesting.  Not necessarily in the best way.

Lately I've noticed that after an appointment, I kind of obsess thinking through every little detail of what was discussed and then I start to feel weird and awkward about it all and I can't shut my brain off and it's really annoying.  And tiring.

So, that was what was going on today.

But, I tried to keep myself busy by cleaning the house.  In a big way.  That was one thing HH shared yesterday that has been bothering him since his surgery.  I've let the house cleaning slip a bit because I've been busy with other things and I've been tired.  I thought that would be a good thing since he's always wanting me to relax about it anyway, but it turns out, it's made him feel guilty.  Like it's kind of his fault that it isn't super clean.  Especially the kitchen because that is his room.  Normally, he super duper cleans it just about every night and it looks great.  So, I kind of got out of the habit of worrying much about it during the day.

Only problem is, he can't really clean like that right now with his one arm in a sling.  So, it gets cleaned every night, but not in the same way.

And I had no idea that was making him feel guilty.  So, today I cleaned it really well.  And the rest of the upstairs.  It was quite therapeutic, given what I had going on internally.  And I could tell he really appreciated it when he came home.

I appreciated it too.  It's nice to have things super clean again.  Definitely a Joyful Moment.

Tonight was an activity at the church.  A nice dinner to celebrate the birthday month of the Relief Society--largest women's organization in the world.  It was really nice to be there with my friends and to forget my weird thinking for a little while.  I have such great friends.  So, hanging out with them was a Joyful Moment, too.  And having everyone fawn over my sweet little Darling A. 

I love being her mama.

The good news is, I have a feeling I'm on the edge of figuring out something significant here.  I just wish my brain could get right down to the heart of it and do it.