Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Day 63: It's Not Business--It's Personal

We are going through something that's very sensitive and personal. I apologize for posting about it again, but I feel like I need to. I'm not sure who is reading this, but since it has become an interesting sort of journal, I feel like I need to be true to the Joyful Moments that really stick out each day. So, some days it's just going to be personal.

Today was overwhelming and exhausting. And the kind of day I wouldn't wish on any mother. We had to go through some hard things. Well, Sweet P did but the rest of us had to watch and even Little M struggled at one point.

Interestingly enough, the nurse referred to Sweet P as "Sweet Pea" the whole day. And she (the nurse) has the same name as my grandma, but the phlebotomist kept calling her my mom's name. And somehow all of those things brought me comfort. It may have just been the pregnancy hormones, but I think Heavenly Father somehow orchestrated all of it to help me out. My grandma passed away last year and my mom is out of the country. But through these weird coincidences I was able to feel the strength and comfort from them I would've liked. Everything just felt connected.

It's difficult to say exactly when my Joyful Moment came today because underneath everything is this complete emotional exhaustion. It was just so awful to submit my daughter to something that terrified and hurt her so much. But when the third IV finally started working after two hours, so we got to avoid yet another needle stick for the final blood draw, I think that may have been a Joyful Moment.

Taking her and Little M to Chuck E. Cheese's this afternoon was another Joyful Moment. I was seriously dreading going because I HATE that place. But it was what Sweet P requested when we told her we wanted to do something fun to make up for the horrible morning. Fortunately, hardly anyone else was there and it didn't seem as yucky as the one back in New England. So, relaxing and playing together as a family was a Joyful Moment.

Mostly, I'm just glad today is over. That even though it was horrible, the procedure was successful. And that we're all heading to bed soon.

Wishing you all Joyful Moments of any kind.


Melanie said...

My joyful moment is completing my love and logic parenting class and feeling so alive, positive, and excited that I have tools to be the parent I really want to be consistantly.

Now, Please call me or email me or something..I'm totally in the dark about Sweet Pea and I'm worried for her....if you want too that is.

love you.

Amy said...

My joyful moment came when we had 2 friends over for Tyler and Emalyn yesterday, and the house was FILLED with happy kid noises. Spring break has been a bit difficult for my kids this year (constant fighting making me want to scream), but with these friends over there was no fighting for a good solid hour.

Nikki said...

I am sorry you all had to go through that.

Linda said...

My joy was sailing on the Nile - our 3rd time of sailing on a felucca. It was wonderful - beautiful, relaxing, and FUN! And a surprise to get to go one more time.