Day 115: Angel Eyes

That was the first song I ever heard from Jim Brickman. I searched until I found the piano music and then practiced it diligently. It's still one of my favorites.

Postpartum hormones tend to make me have panic attacks. At least they did quite a bit after my first two babies. This time, I've been panic attack free though. Up until this morning, anyway. I had a bit of a scare yesterday evening, followed by some bad dreams, and then had a long, but mild, panic attack all morning.

When the mess with Sweet P began during my third trimester, I kept wondering "why now?". It just seemed like such rotten timing. I was so stressed out about her and how we were going to work out all of the doctor's visits and tests and whatnot with me not knowing when I'd be in the hospital and how much I'd be able to handle after BB was born. And since the birth of BB, many of the people aware of what we're going through with Sweet P have expressed concern for how I'm coping with that on top of a new baby.

But shortly after BB's birth, I realized something. His birth was a gift. He keeps me so preoccupied, I don't have time to sit and stew over potential "what if's". And as I've mentioned, I am totally in love with him so, when life gets crazy and overwhelming, I can hold him and feel that all is right and well. Or at least it will be.

And that's what happened today to help me snap out of my panic attack funk. I was holding him and he was wide awake and just so snuggly and everything was good. And that was my Joyful Moment. Holding him and looking at his sweet little face just brought me so much peace. He definitely has something angelic about him.

Wishing you all angelic Joyful Moments!